well, wow. Its been ages since I last posted eh?

here I am now.

Holidays.

Hm.

I guess its rolling down now, coming down to the last couple of days where I shall start singing those Back to School Blues.

But anyway, it's been a good couple of weeks.

After such a hectic and tough first semester of crazy and robust studying, I really needed the break. I really felt like I did give it all I had.

I was tired.

I needed rest.

I needed to live again.

I needed to confirm my existence again.

Epic, I know.

As epic as it seems, I think I fulfilled these elaborate tasks by simple things.

For once, just doing nothing, felt like doing so much.

Hours of just lying around the house with my Guitars, making music, scrapping the piece that I worked on for the last 4 hours and starting all over again.
I love that I have that freedom with my music. I never feel bound. Maybe I'll talk about that another day.

Another thing that I did alot over these holidays is jam.

Oh Jamming for the first time after ages is like almost as good as the first time having sex all over again. Not that I know how that feels but I imagine a similar part of my mind is used for sexual pleasure that's used for my musical side.

ANAYWAYYS.

Jams with the guys are so laid back. It starts about at 7 o clock at night.

I get the call:

"Hey Banu man, Jam my place in half an hour."

We get there, and just talk for the first couple of hours.

Feel the room.
Feel the vibe.

The stuff we talk about is not what we would normally talk about. Just the fact that we are going to be making some music later on, I don't know what it does but it motivates us to think and express things we normally wouldn't. I mean yeah, after all they are your mates but for once, you don't make jokes.

We talk about everything, from life to death, from friends to family.

and most importantly, music.

After this little stage I guess, we strap up, plug in and start.

And when it comes down to it.

Sometime you feel it in the room.

and Sometimes you just don't.

Thats the hardest thing to accept, that you are not going to feel it every time.

Boy I wish I could.

"What is feeling it you ask?"

"OH PLEASE TELL US BANU-CHAN!"

Well, basically it's like making love with music. I don't even know if its that, but I do feel something.

I think I'll explore this in more depth another day, but Hendrix summarized it nicely when he sang:

"Feeling sweet feeling,

Drops my fingers, fingers,

Music sweet music,

I wish I could caress and kiss you,"

Great song by the way.

But yeah. This holidays, I felt it.

Felt it like a hoe feels the money.

Felt it like virgin, cutting it for the very first time.

Felt it like a mammal, cus' baby lets do it like they do on the discovery channel.

After this, we sleep, often in the same bed, which isn't weird or anything.

Seriously it isn't.

People you play music with, know you better than most.

I know, I don't usually think of my jams with the guys in such depth, I mean it is really a laid back thing. And it comprises of a lot of sleeping, useless chord progression, hopeless attempts at writing songs and us just putting down the guitars and bass, and just talking again.

All in all, it's a really satisfying feeling.

And just getting a chance to with the guys many times this holidays was really fulfilling.

Call me a hopeless man, for believing in such things.

But I'd rather be a hopeless man who believes in life,

than a cold realist who lives in fear and anger.

"All I'm going to do is just go on and do what I feel."

Jimi Hendrix.

Over and out,

-Shazz.