Friday, well was an interesting day.

Really, really confusing, but rather confronting.

Winter.

Oh I love this season. It has this weird effect on me. I think more, about everything.

It's really weird. I chuck on my scarf on in the morning, throw on a warm coat, grab my umbrella and put on my headphones.

It gives me a chance to recollect, about everything. From A to Z. As much as I hate it when I overthink things, this time, I needed to.

On Friday, I finally grew up.

Well all these years, I get this weird sensation. I don't know if it happens with others, but even it is only for a few seconds, it's like a massive whack in the face.

For those few seconds that it happens, I feel like I completely leave my consciousness, and re-assess my life from the outside looking in. Its like I lose my own identity for a couple of minutes.

bizarre.

Before you take your g-string and sell yourself to a smoking pig with a strangely sexual hat, I should probably tell you this feeling isn't as epic as it seems. I bet if you tried hard enough, you would able to see it too.

Some times I have to mentally tell myself to stop and drift back into reality. I never really induldged in the feeling. It's one of melancholy and almost like I've lived for so much longer than I have. Usually, this feeling left me confused and upset. But yesterday, I think it formed a new person all together. I started to see and accept who I was looking at and thinking in.

If that makes any sense. You know how sometimes you think and you tell yourself,

"Dude, its wrong to feel like this, you should feel like this."

or

"Why the hell did I just think that? I shouldn't be thinking about that."

well, I always thought those sub-conscious thoughts which are not sub-conscious at all just happen, maybe just come and go.

But on Friday, the weirdest thing happened.

I accepted them.

I accepted that I, myself, think that way.

I accepted the thoughts I have as my own.

It's like I'm not ashamed of thinking freely anymore. I can pursue any trail of thought as I desire.

I don't exactly know where this comes into growing up but rather I could say I am growing strong.

Strong in the sense that I have the ability to think something and not reject the thought out of emotion, in the sense that I can take what I think.

This whole thing could be some random infatuation, in a plea to understand myself, but fingers crossed it isn't.

"I like these cold, grey winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood."

- Bill Waterson

-Shazz.